Thursday 19 October 2017

THE ELECTRIC EEL

Lately I came to learn more about the Fish called The Electric Eel. Actually, the full name is Electrophorus Electricus.

The fish is commonly found in the Amazon and generally in fresh waters. In the narration of the documentary, Electric Eels are mostly blind although they are not born blind. To me, they are such beautiful creatures and I was wondering, how come they are blind?

I then read about them and came to understand that these animals have three pairs of abdominal organs that produce electricity as a form of defensive mechanism against predators. Whenever the animal is under attack, it activates an electric field of up to 860 Volts (that is nearly 4 times the 220V electricity supplied to our homes) to electrocute its attacker.

The Eel also requires rising to the surface of the water every 10 minutes in order to take in oxygen before going back under the water. Due to this routine, the fish has developed a mindset that makes it think it is vulnerable to attack due to its constant coming up to breathe, and hence it is always on a suspicion mission .

It is always and constantly electrocuting its environment even when it is not under attack. The sad effect of this is that in the course of continuous electrocuting of its environment, its eyes are also electrocuted and hence its blindness!

But then, as I watched this animal swimming around blindly and only using its sense of feel and ears and been unable to see, it goes into more suspicion and every movement it feels in the waters, it releases further electric shock,worsening its plight

The animal thus goes into a cyclic paranoia and self infliction of pain causing it to be more blind irreversibly.

You see, such is the situation in some people's life. They suspect everybody and everything! They are always on a mindset of
someone is doing me
something evil is going to happen to me,
someone is planning to harm me etc.

By having this kind of mental pictures, such people release shock waves that electrocutes whoever comes near them!

Friends who mean well are branded enemies,parents are considered evil, siblings are suspected of hatching evil plots, work colleagues are branded enemies, Etc.

When people go into such self-destructive modes, all they think about is themselves and not the feelings of others. With the desire to protect themselves, they end up hurting others.

Let us all strive to cultivate a positive attitude of love. let brotherly love continue. In other words, treat each other in a brotherly manner.

Think and reflect about these things.

MASTURBATION AND ITS EFFECTS

MASTURBATION AND ITS EFFECTS

VIRGINS AND MASTURBATION
I get lots of questions on masturbation most especially from ladies -yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I'm not here to argue about who masturbates most, I need to deal with a serious issue.

Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hear says about sex.

Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis. I decided to give explicit explanation because some ask me what masturbation is. Some ladies especiallly non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos or whatever represents a penis and do solo sex (having sex by yourself).

From teenage upward, you will have a strong desire for sex. It's a sure sign you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense! You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady! You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the image off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check up and discover you are wet. All these are normal, you haven't committed any sin.

So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate! They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at theseame time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:

1. Masturabation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. That is MENTAL FORNICATION

2. For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infection into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with man except objects during your solo sex.

3. You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism. If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won't be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won't have feelings for your husband's penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands' penis are too small didn't marry as virgins. They must have been promiscous as singles.

4. You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience pre-mature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you leading to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure. A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated. She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having an affair. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too. That is why total virginity pays!

5. If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation. A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm? Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant? It's the reason some women are seemingly "barren" and can't talk to anybody out of embarrassment. Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether. You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate. Abstaining from this degrading act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!

6. You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown person (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouse).

7. You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.

8. You start getting unsatisfied and wants the real thing. You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.

9. You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers -you become promiscous.

10. You get damaged, hurt and broken.

11. You are at risk of hell fire!

These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces!  What then should you do with your sexual urge? How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?

1. Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!

2. Avoid friends who say dirty,lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.

3. Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.

6. Pray with khushuui(total concentration)

7. Make friends with godly people.

8. Avoid pornography and romantic movies.

9. Get busy in Ibaada(worship)

10. Don't be or stay alone, an idle mind is a devil's workshop

Masturbation is wrong, bad, demonic, destructive and sinful. Avoid it and end it with speed if you are deeply involved in it.

Friday 13 October 2017

BE A MAN, NOT MAN!

Be a Man, not Man!

Once you've kicked her
Twice you've punched her
Thrice you've slapped her

And like that it went on
To your senses she felt you'll return
For the sake of love she didn't run

When you summon her at night she wouldn't hiss
On the scars you still dare kiss
Still, you? She doesn't diss

When you hit her how do you feel?
Like a man of steel?
Or a man with a brain of steel?

Do you feel like a hero?
You're wrong cos you're zero
Wanna know?
Fight a hefty man tomorrow

How do you do it?
With her hands she cooks, you eat
And those same hands, you hit

With her belly she carried your kids
On that same belly you land the kicks
Is that the reward for all her deeds?

Wake up and stop kidding!
Your son is watching!
Your daughter is storing!

For him, hitting women has become normal
For her, marriage isn't even normal She decides not to marry but remain immoral

Wake up man!
And be the real man
Make an amendment plan
Before you receive a sinful dan

I rest my fingers!
Waseelah Kabiawu

Thursday 12 October 2017

ONCE UPON A UNILORITE

ONCE UPON A UNILORIN
The pressure we bear
The nights we dare
The morning we hurried
The afternoon we queued
The stress we defied
The assignment we replied
The freedom we sacrifice
The behavior we sanctified

Nights of endless reading
Days when the sun chocked our breathing
Gripped with fear of facing Tanke
We were forced to memorize the works of leopard rank
Like a religion we worshipped our books
And we care less about our looks.

Night class
Like day class
Library like a market
Filled with students who care less about library ticket.

I'm reading at 'law' tonight
Mum said NO to stay up at night
I thought night are filled with silence and emptiness
Not here, as providence
Slumbering, no longer a comfort
Our home no longer a resort.

Oh, the exam time table is out
It's a rumour we pout
We hurried still, for here! Rumours are true
We dare not ignore
We neither sleep nor snore
Exam is here
We hurried with fear
And prayed with tears.

Holiday is here, still we fumed
It's ephemeral we hummed
We closed our eyes, before dawn
We are back to school
Oh, what a school
And then the nights again........
Great men don't get much sleep.

By Linguist Aishah 001

ONCE UPON A UNILORIN

ONCE UPON A UNILORIN
The pressure we bear
The nights we dare
The morning we hurried
The afternoon we queued
The stress we defied
The assignment we replied
The freedom we sacrifice
The behavior we sanctified

Nights of endless reading
Days when the sun choked our breathing
Gripped with fear of facing Tanke
We were forced to memorize the works of leopard rank
Like a religion we worshipped our books
And we care less about our looks.

Night class
Like day class
Library like a market
Filled with students who care less about library ticket.

I'm reading at 'law' tonight
Mum said NO to stay up at night
I thought night are filled with silence and emptiness
Not here, as providence
Slumbering, no longer a comfort
Our home no longer a resort.

Oh, the exam time table is out
It's a rumour we pout
We hurried still, for here! Rumours are true
We dare not ignore
We neither sleep nor snore
Exam is here
We hurried with fear
And prayed with tears.

Holiday is here, still we fumed
It's ephemeral we hummed
We closed our eyes, before dawn
We are back to school
Oh, what a school
And then the nights again........
Great men don't get much sleep.

By Linguist Aishah 001

Tuesday 10 October 2017

I will be her best friend and confidant,I will teach her how to speak out...

I screamed as he held me against the bed, his strong hands covering my mouth.
I had just turned five some days ago.

The pain was intense.
I tried to push him away, but I couldn't and I gave up just as I had done some weeks ago when I tried to lift the sofa in the living room.
When he finally got down from the bed, he spat on the ground, pulled up his trousers and left the room in a hurry.
I wiped the tears with the back of my hands and tried to sit up. But my thighs hurt so badly and so I lay there numb.

He walked back into the room and stood in front of me.

'Sarah!'

I didn’t answer.

He called my name again and as if my crying button was suddenly powered on, I began to wail.
He rushed to my side and rolled me over, pulling out the bedspread smeared with my blood.
I continued to scream.
He slapped me.
I stopped screaming.

'Listen to me.
If you tell anyone about what happened here, I will kill you.'
He barked, his big eyeballs boring into mine.

When he heard my aunt drive in, he quickly covered me up with a blanket and ran out.
Aunty Dupe entered the house with her cheerful and boisterous self and walked into my room with a cup of strawberry ice-cream.
Her husband followed behind, peering from behind her, making a face that reminded me of his threat. 

'Sarah darling' she said, grinning.

She sat on the bed and gave me a peck on my cheeks.

'I brought you your favourite ice-cream.'

My uncle wouldn’t take his eyes off me.
I remained mute.

'What’s wrong with you?'
She touched my head to feel my temperature.

'Sarah is not feeling too well.
She’s been on the bed since morning.'
I glared at my uncle and thought what a professional liar he was.
' I will make you a cup of hot tea.'
She walked out briskly.

'Now you be a good girl.'
Uncle Richard and crawled out quietly.
I couldn’t eat anything that night.
Aunty Dupe was worried.

As she dragged me to the bathroom for a shower, I winced and pulled away. Now she was concerned.

'What happened to you?'
She took me back to bed and then noticed the bedspread was gone.

'Where is the bedsheet?'
My lips didn’t move.
She picked another clean cloth from the wardrobe and spread it out on the bed before putting me to bed and covering me with the blanket.

Within minutes, I was on my way to dream land.
That night I saw my uncle followed by six men, all dressed in black, approaching my bed.
I screamed.

The sweet voice I heard woke me up the following morning.
I opened my eyes to find my mother sitting beside my bed.
I stared at her.

'Sarah, it’s mum.'

I stared at her.
My mother stood up from the bed puzzled.
My father also walked in, ran to me and hugged me tight.
I didn't move an inch.

Mum just kept looking at me.
I knew she could sense that something was wrong.
There was a strong connection between us, a bond so strong that it crossed the normal mother to child relationship.
My father pulled me gently out of bed and I spread out my legs, limping.
My aunt and her husband entered.

'Dupe, what happened to my daughter?'
My mother asked, clearly worried

'I’m surprised too.
I came back from the market yesterday and saw her in that state.
Maybe it's malaria or she is homesick.'

My mother faced me, ready to get to the end of this.
That’s how I know her.
She wouldn’t give up.
She sat on the ground and pulled me in front of her.
She tried closing my legs but I let out a loud cry.

'Angel, what happened?'
I remained silent

'You know you can talk to me right?
Mummy loves you and will keep you safe.
When did this start?'

She felt for my thighs and I quickly pushed her hand away.
Just then, Uncle Richard stood behind my mother as my mouth began to form some incoherent words.
I looked at him and the fear in my eyes returned.
My mother quickly followed the direction of my eyes and caught her brother-in-law's glaring countenance.
In a flash, she got up and slapped my uncle.
Then she grabbed his shirt.

'What did you do to my daughter?'

Another slap followed as tears ran down my mother's eyes.
My father tried to pull them apart and my aunt was already furious.

'How dare you accuse my husband falsely?
Are you out of your mind Shade?
Are you insinuating that my husband slept with your daughter, a five years old girl for that matter?'

My mother’s face was covered in tears.

'Dupe I trusted you with my daughter for just a week.'

'Get out of my house!'Aunty Dupe shouted

My mother knelt before me and kissed me on my cheeks.

'Angel you know I love you and I will keep you safe from that man.
Tell me, what did he do to you?'

My mouth suddenly let loose and I began to narrate how he dragged me from the living room to the bedroom, how he covered his mouth with mine and pulled down my pant.
I showed her the place I was experiencing sharp pains.

I had not finished talking when my father pounced on him.
My aunt just stood there speechless.
I hid behind my mother, afraid my uncle would kill me but then I felt a soft hand grab me up and press my head to her teary face.
We left the house.

The nights that followed came with nightmares as I saw my uncle appeared in my room several times, threatening to kill me for speaking out.
Every time I screamed, I would find my mum beside me praying.

Over the years, I became familiar with the pattern of waking up in the middle of the night to find her on her knees, her eyes lifted upward.
She and my father would place their hands on my head and pray, calling out my name and speaking soothing words to my ears.
I felt safe but I still couldn’t talk much.
I had moved from the fun-loving, charming damsel to a melancholic chap.

The three weeks I spent at the hospital had mum by my side.
It was later I found out from my Father that she’d quit her new job after that incident.
I began to heal gradually.

That was some thirty years ago.
Now I am a mother with three wonderful kids and as I sit in my study room, writing this short article which I hope to present tomorrow at the Christian Mothers Conference where I have been invited as a guest speaker, I see clearly the roles of mothers in the life of their children.
I wouldn’t have gone far without my mother's love and affection during those trying days.

As she has passed on the spirit of true motherhood to me, I am hoping to do the same to my daughter who interestingly will turn five tomorrow.
I will be her best friend and confidant.
And just as my mother has done, I will teach her to speak out.

Sunday 6 August 2017

A WAKE-UP CALL

Just saw this in one of my social network account, thought of sharing.

A Wake-Up Call!

Life is a journey with important lessons that are learned along the way. It’s full of surprises encompassing moments of happiness and sadness. During this journey we need to be mindful of our ultimate destination.

Often in pursuit of our material objectives, we are so absorbed and obsessed that we become oblivious about those important people that are near and dear to us and forget about our greater and real purpose in life. 

There was a very successful executive, Mike, traveling down a busy neighbourhood street. He was speeding in his sleek, black, two month old BMW Coupe. A brick sailed out and - Baaangg! - it smashed Into the BMW's shiny black side door! SCREECH..!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the car back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Mike jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new BMW, that brick you threw is going to cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please. . . I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do", pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's really hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk towards their home.

It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, BMW -a long and slow walk. Mike never fixed the side door of his car. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. It was indeed a real wake-up call!

A brick thrown at us is not always a tragedy and could be blessing in disguise as it brings a deep realisation within us that we need to do some serious introspection and to become more conscious about our greater purpose and objectives in life. Allah says:

'...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' (Qur’an:Surah Baqarah: 216)

In life there is always another dimension to a tragedy and in all situations one can find goodness and reward from Allah Ta’ala provided one endures patiently.  Sure it is not easy to undergo a difficulty and remain unhurt, but know in your mind and believe in your heart that it is indeed better for you.

We need to be positive as traverse this journey of life and each difficulty or problem that we encounter can be medication for our soul and a preparation for the onward journey. Allah Ta’ala says:

“Verily, with hardship there is relief” (Qur'an 94:6).

We have absolutely no control over what happens to us in life but what we have vital control over is how we respond to those events. How we respond to them defines our character and the quality of our life. We can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of the loss, or we can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift we have – life itself!

A crisis creates the opportunity to dip deep into the reservoirs of our very being, to rise to levels of confidence, strength, and resolve that otherwise we didn't think we possessed. No matter what challenges or obstacles we experience, we make a CHOICE to become better or bitter because of it.

So the next time a brick is flung at us…remember it may just be that Wake-Up Call!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us strength in adversity…Ameen.

Wednesday 2 August 2017

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Believe while others are doubting, plan while others are playing, study while others are sleeping,decide while others are delaying, prepare while others are daydreaming, begin while others are procrastinating, work while others are wishing, save while others are wasting, listen while others are talking, smile while others are criticising, persist while others are quitting, do not be wasteful but be grateful. Never loose your self esteem and confidence,believe in yourself...

Tuesday 1 August 2017

PORNOGRAPHY: AN EVIL INDULGENCE

PORNOGRAPHY: AN EVIL INDULGENCE

He was a wealthy businessman, a father to three beautiful children and a husband to a pious and humble wife. A respectful family man was what the world saw yet he had a dark evil indulgence, pornography. He would sit hunched over his laptop in his plush office for hours watching the filthiest of videos. His wife was aware of his addiction yet remained silent as he threatened her with divorce on numerous occasions. His thriving business was now on the verge of liquidation, his children were becoming disrespectful and rebellious, his house was to be auctioned and he was now a penniless and homeless man. The evil of his indulgence engulfed his soul and burned his life as well as the barakah from his business.

All her life she hated the thought of such filth being available so easily on the internet and television. She was a righteous wife and loving mother. The fifty shades of grey novel was given to her by her best friend so she read it and soon evil thoughts and desires entered into her mind and heart. She became fiercely addicted to reading and watching pornographic material. Her Salaah was neglected and soon she stopped all her ibaadah. She often indulged her nafs in sex texting strange men and woman on various dark sites. Her naked lifeless body was found by the police at a downtown hotel, she was raped and murdered. The darkness of her evil indulgence ruined her.

A student of hifz, he was the apple of his parents eye. Always brought home an excellent report card and never was he disrespectful or disobedient to his elders. His friends often sent him explicit WhatsApp videos and images in the form of a joke. He never did watch them until he was being labelled as a loser by his mates. He decided to watch just one erotic video and soon it captured his heart. The night he told his parents he was staying over at his best friends house was the night he visited a brothel and paid to lose his innocence to a prostitute. A month later he was diagnosed with being HIV positive. His submission to his nafs killed his soul.

An elegant new bride, innocent and beautiful. She was introduced to pornographic videos on the night of her nikkah. Her husband wanted and asked her to perform sexual acts that she was extremely uncomfortable with and acts that are forbidden in Islam. She never did tell anyone as she felt embarrassed and ashamed. It was supposed to be a regular dinner date with some of his married friends which soon shocked her as she realised it was not just a dinner party but a swingers party. She was now being forced to strip in front of his friends. She felt humiliated and her heart shattered. She escaped that night, yet the horror of it all broke her as her husband continued to force his darkness upon her. That night his best friend raped her as her husband watched as well as recorded was the night she pulled the trigger and ended her life and the life of their child growing inside of her.. He killed her soul and the soul of his unborn child.

Pornography is a evil and dark web designed by shaytaan himself to entice, entrap and enslave our Imaan. Today pornographic material is so easily and readily available even children can access this filth. WhatsApp, email, Facebook and the world wide web have videos as well as images of pornography which are circulated every second of the day. How would you feel if your ten year old son found you watching that dirty video your friend sent to you as a joke? Will it be funny then? How would you feel if your mother found you self pleasuring and submitting to your nafs and desires? How would you feel if the last image you saw was that of naked people before your eyes shut forever? How would you face your Lord knowing you passed away in the state of filth and fitnah?

My dear brothers and sisters I urge you to stop hiding and running away from speaking to your family and even your children (age appropriate) about the evils of pornography. If you are watching this haraam on television or addicted to it on the net or know of someone that needs assistance and guidance please do speak up and seek help.

Pornography will steal your peace, rob your home of barakaah and happiness, enslave your every thought, shackle your soul and leave you sinking into its depths of evil darkness.

May Allah save us, our children and the entire Ummah from this disease that is spreading like wild fire engulfing all into its flames.

Monday 31 July 2017

MY HONEY SWEETENED DONUTS

When you're bored and want to try something you haven't done before. Yes, the result was nice. Yummy
REQUIREMENTS 
- 2 cups of flour 
- A tea spoon of yeast 
- A tea spoon of cinnamon 
- 2 eggs 
- A cup of honey
- A cup of powder milk 
- Vanilla flavour 
PREPARATION
- Pour the flour, milk, cinnamon into a bowl and mix together 
- Beat the eggs and pour into the flour mixture, then mix together 
- Mix yeast with lukewarm water, allow to form together, then pour into the flour mixture. Mix together  
- Mix honey to the flour mixture, add the Vanilla flavour. Mix the dough together. 
- Cover the bowl with a napkin, and allow the dough to rise for 45mins. 
- Then roll the dough on a baking board/clean  flat surface, and shape it. I used a cup and plastic bottle cover to get the donut shape. 
- Cover and leave to rise again for 20minutes, then fry. Honey sweetened donuts is ready. 
#my_baking_experience#
#firsttimemakingdonuts#




Tuesday 25 April 2017

THINGS FALL APART

Things fall apart
Pick up the pieces and move on
Most times what we wish in our dreams don't happen, like that in reality 
Everything cannot be rosy all the time
Most times when the reality is done on you, you wish it never happen to you
When the heart is troubled the soul becomes unrest
Real sleep is from the heart not from closing the eyes
When the heart is desperate of something, the eyes and brain becomes powerless 
The sight of the heart travels faster than the sight of the eyes
To see life in a clearer way, try and close your eyes, until you stop looking at everything, you may never see anything 
Until you know life is vanity, you don't know anything.

Sunday 19 March 2017

STRESS AND IT'S INTRICACIES
INTRODUCTION
It is an open secret that majority of ailments which the Human race suffers from is made manifest by STRESS.

WHAT IS STRESS
Generally speaking stress is the process by which we perceive and respond to certain events, called STRESSORS, that we appraise as threatening or challenging.  Stressor therefore are anything that challenge our usual way of doing thing e.g examinations, death of a loved one, Economic recession, and rejection of proposal by a sister all these are external examples,Internal ones would be worry, uncertainty, unrealistic expectations.....

Manageable Stress can lead to growth and enhanced competence. Uncontrollable, prolonged, or overwhelming stress is destructive.


SIGNS&SYMPTOMS
  •  Decreased concentration,

  •  Decreased comprehension,

  • Memory
Irritability;some take it out on their family members (mothers, sisters, wives) or roommates, friends, even on a total stranger.....
✅withdrawal, ✅violence
✅Fear, 
✅anxiety,
✅ depression,
✅ fatigue
✅Decreased immune response


RESPONSES
Briefly, Stages of stress response include.
✅Alarm—when one feels threatened
✅Resistance—mobilization of resources to solve the problem
✅Continued stress causes adaptation
✅Exhaustion occurs when
Adaptation fails and level of function decreases

N:B Manageable Stress can lead to growth and enhanced competence while
Uncontrollable, prolonged, or overwhelming stress is destructive.

In responding to stress We have coping strategies which could be
  • Problem solving

  • Emotion reducing

Problem solving:
Direct response aimed at  modifying, or eliminating a source of stress
For instance, after getting a poor grade, a student decides to study harder or get a tutor.
Problem-solving strategies include:
  •     Seeking help from another person
  •    Obtaining information or advice that would help to solve the problem
  Solving problems- making and implementing plans to deal with the problem
Confrontation- defending ones right and    persuading other people to change their behaviour.
Emotion-reducing strategies, which alleviate the emotional response to the response.
For example, viewing loss of a job as a challenge or opportunity, not a tragedy.
Emotion- reducing strategies include;
Ventilation of emotion- talking to another person and expressing emotion. Really helpful when talking to the right set of people
        Evaluation of the problem- to assess what can be changed and try to change it and what cannot be changed, to accept it.
Positive reappraisal of the problem- recognising that it has led to some good, for example, the loss of a job is an opportunity to find a more satisfying occupation.
Seeking social support;
Tangible and/or emotional support provided in time of need by family members, friends, peer groups, Religious Organizations.....
The feeling of being loved, valued, and cared for by those toward whom we feel a similar obligation
Emotion reducing strategies encourages health-promoting behaviors and reduces impact of stress
Others include;
Eating right; this could go along way to reduce stress;
Fast foods and soft drinks can increase stress levels
Fresh fruit, vegetables, smoothies can help relieve stress
Sleep;
Sleep helps to reduce fatigue,
Improve concentration...... we can't cheat our bodies. An adult should try to get 6-7 hrs of sleep daily.
Breathing exercises
Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold ur breath for 3 secs
Slowly breath out through ur nose for a count of 7secs.
Exercise regularly; Exercises has proven to be effective in managing stress. Helps improve your immunity, best on an empty stomach. Add it to your morning routine.
You could start small. For the married ones you can include your spouses to make it more fun.....
Take advantage of your free time. Develop a hobby.... do things u enjoy.
Manage your time well
Enjoy the company of family and friends and most importantly BE CONTENTED!!!!.

Maladaptive responses

These strategies reduce the emotional response to stressful circumstances in the short term, but lead to greater difficulties in the long term.
Maladaptive coping strategies include the following:
  •  Use of alcohol or unprescribed drugs to reduce the emotional response or to reduce awareness of stressful circumstances. Deliberate self harm-  either by drug overdose or self-injury.
  •  Some people gain relief from tension by cutting the skin with a sharp instrument to induce pain and draw blood.
Others take overdoses to withdraw from the situation or to show their need for help.
  • Unrestrained display of feelings- can reduce tension, and in some societies such is sanctioned in particular circumstances, for example, grieving.
In other circumstances, such behaviour can damage relationships with people who would otherwise have been supportive
  •  Aggressive behaviour- aggression provides immediate release of feelings of anger.
In the longer term, it may increase the person’s difficulties by damaging relationships.

CONCLUSIONS
Stress is part of everyday life
It can promote growth and competency
If unrelenting or overwhelming it can cause adverse effects
Adaptive coping enhances resilience
Maladaptive coping causes additional problems
Please see your psychiatrist or counselor in the event that you feel overwhelmed.

Brought to you by Thoughts&Reflexes

CREDIT : Dr. Taslimah Abdurrahman
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Wednesday 15 March 2017

BUILDING YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL SKILLS Concluding part

BUILDING YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL SKILLS Concluding part

Now we know almost all the basic requirements of being a successful entrepreneur, however some other pointers which must be noted are encapsulated below.


CONCLUSIONS

After all that have being said, it's pertinent to note that certain things should be put into consideration as regards Entrepreneurship.

  •  Pay yourself first.

  •  Delay gratification

  •  Don't pay for everything, get some services on a partnership basis
  •  Build a very effective customer service
  •  always look for ways of getting feedbacks

  •  Ask for referrals

  • Start with a lean but effective staff and adjust along the way.
  •  Start from simple to complex

  • Don't let momentary success overwhelm/deceive you.

Finally, you need to work seriously on your managerial skills, because Entrepreneurs are managers, they manage People, time, money and policies,
All above make a good entrepreneur.

We hope that this little effort of ours would spur us all to start thinking on how to become Entrepreneurs.
We wish you the best in life endeavours.

Thoughts&Reflexes
CREDIT: Bakare Haneef Akinsola (Co founder, BuyHalalng.com)

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BUILDING YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL SKILLA: A PRAGMATIC APPROACH PART 2

BUILDING YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL SKILLA: A PRAGMATIC APPROACH PART 2

Sequel to the first part of this write up where we analysed the meaning, benefits, and misconceptions about Entrepreneurship.

NECESSITIES OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP

To excel as an Entrepreneur, there are certain requirements which will help to solidify the possibility of achieving success.
These requirements would be explained in terms of stages

CONCEPTUAL STAGE: You need to have an idea to be an entrepreneur.
Many at times the idea stems from the need to manage or maintain a particular problem, or offer a product which would add value to the end users.
Your idea might be innovative or creative
 Examples; If my idea is to create a website where people can order for akara and moi moi, then my idea falls under innovation
But if my idea is to build a special pot to ease the frying of akara, then I'm being creative with my idea.

So, first step, Conceive an idea

BUILD UP STAGE: This is where a potential entrepreneur carry out feasibility studies on conceived ideas/concept.
Possible actions under build up stage include but not limited to.
  • Review of past efforts relating to the idea.

  • Strength, Weakness,Opportunity, Threat (SWOT) Analysis.

  • Refine and enhance of the idea based on analysis

  • Working on methods and logistics that best suit idea
  • Getting people with similar ideas to work with as one tree doesn't make a forest.
  • Get professional advice and support from those that matters

  •  Check for unrealistic policies and replace with realistic policies.

N:B A lot of people would try to dissuade you at this stage, telling you, you are wasting your Money or your Time, Don't listen.

Remember that if you build on passion, it will always keep you motivated
FINANCING STAGE: Every idea you conceive would need money to implement, needless to say this is where majority gets stuck, below are ways to source for funding for your concept.

  •  Fundraising: you can organise small event to pull out cash from people. This always works when problem you're solving is general and solution to it is badly needed.
People will appreciate and try to help you.
You need to be wise in doing this as you're partially sharing your idea
  • Get Investors: Create a simple blog stating that you're looking for investors, share with friends and families. 
  • Government grants or SME funding: self explanatory I guess, even though it's difficult to get

  • Scholarship or Foundation grant:There are certain international and indigenous bodies that seeks to finance concepts and ideas,  Example is Tony Elumelu Foundation(unfortunately, this year application has closed few days back)

  • Loans: could be from formal banking institutions or from Friends and families.

Always put in mind that, if your idea/concept is truly extraordinary, the funds would find it's way in, you just need to look well

Watch out for the concluding part.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY Thoughts&Reflexes
CREDIT: Bakare Haneef Akinsola (Co founder, BuyHalalng.com)

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Building your entrepreneurial skills part 1

BUILDING YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL SKILLS: A PRAGMATIC APPROACH PART 1
INTRODUCTION
Take a quizzical look at the present economical quagmire which our beloved country is neck deep in, the level of economic recession and the massive rate of unemployment, it becomes imperative that all Nigerians begin to think and reflect on the best approach to remove ourselves individually and collectively from this menace of Economic recession. One thing that easily comes to mind in a bid to escape this quagmire is self employment, a feat that is possible only when we all go into ENTREPRENEURSHIP
 
WHAT IS ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Entrepreneurship relates to the pursuit of risky and innovative business ventures to capture new opportunities.
Entrepreneurs are innovators, willing to take risks and generate new ideas to create unique and potentially profitable solutions to modern-day problem,
In other words, every person with his or her senses is bound to be an entrepreneur,  The grandmother selling moimoi near the street is an Entrepreneur,
Likewise the woman hawking pap early in the morning.
No doubt, entrepreneurship is the way out of the seemingly expanding unemployed labour force in Nigeria. But the lack of skills on the part of the Nigerian youths has really been contributory to this problem.(Muhammad Basheer Ishola, President, Union of campus journalist, Unilorin).
Jack Ma, founder of AliBaBa, said, there's power in the youths thus virtually all the youths should be an entrepreneur.

BENEFITS OF BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR
Abound are numerous reasons why you need to be an entrepreneur especially as a Nigerian Youth, particularly as a student.

  • Financial freedom

  • Freedom of Time

  • Being your own boss

  • You're an employer thus contributing to the growth of your nation's economy

MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Many of us have nurtured some misconceptions about entrepreneurship, below are some of those widely believed misconceptions.

  • Thinking you need to be super rich

  •  Thinking only those with degrees in Entrepreneurial studies can excel

  • Wrong notion that the country does not support self employment.

  • Add yours, we know you have.

We stop here for now watch out for the second part where necessities of Entrepreneurship would be analysed.

Brought to you by Thoughts&Reflexes

CREDIT: Bakare Haneef Akinsola (Co founder, BuyHalalng.com)

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